1. LEAST SUCCESSFUL PHOTOSHOP ATTEMPT
PIB, or the Press Information Bureau of India, showed all of us how going out of one’s way to kiss ass is completely avoidable. After the media finally decided to cover the devastation that was being caused by the Chennai floods that killed hundreds and left thousands without a home, PIB decided to take it upon themselves to show how concerned our Prime Minister was by tweeting this.
PIB
However, it took not more than 10 seconds for Twitter to realise that this wasn’t a real picture. To make matter worse, this is the explanation they gave – “We have seen the pictures of photo division during the aerial surveys of former PMs in the last many years. Several pictures, including those that include Manmohan Singh, were altered to include two pictures or to show a closer view of the ground, water level and the extent of destruction. This is only to give a more realistic view of the ground situation. To call it Photoshop is not right,”
Pretty much trying to tell us, “Boss, you don’t have to tell us, we have done this shit before too, how come nobody said anything then? Ha? Ha? Bolo?” PIB. Photoshop is best.
2. LEAST SUCCESSFUL GADGETS
Apple, like always, never ceases to amaze the world with shit people don’t need. This year was no different with, what will go down in the annals of history as two of the most useless products to ever be created.
One is a white coloured stylus known as the ‘revolutionary’ $100 Apple Pencil.
The other is the ‘revolutionary’ cell phone cover with an attached battery called the Apple Smart battery case, which, as a standalone product, is something Apple users have been asking for for a while. But the only problem is that even the battery has only 1810 MaH battery, which is approximately half of a phone with a good battery. Also why would anyone buy this if there are other power cases providing up to 3200 MaH of juice? Not to forget it costs $99 to buy this revolutionary product, unnecessarily more expensive than most. And most of all, because it looks like a Punjabi auntyjee from behind.
gearhungry.com
3. LEAST SUCCESSFUL INTERNET PLAN
We couldn’t put our finger on just one of these so a couple of winners here. First, Internet.org. Incredible initiative by Facebook to bring internet in the houses of those who don’t know if they’ll be able to manage food at night. Now known as Free Basics, it also didn’t help in the fight for net neutrality. So free internet. What a novel idea. But why only on the Reliance network? Why only a few websites? Why Zuckerberg?
thewebshift.com
The other one being Airtel Zero. In an attempt to increase their revenues by partnering with service providers, Airtel tied up with Flipkart. So Flipkart would pay Airtel money, and Airtel in return would promote, and let them access the site for free. But then why give anyone the power to put a price on the websites we visit? Many Facebook petitions and YouTube videos on net neutrality later, was the problem promptly tackled by our diligent government? Of course. Not. But positives did come out of it – Airtel dropped their idea of ‘Zero’ (at least for now), and people did collectively stand up for Net Neutrality.
4. LEAST SUCCESSFUL START-UP
Sushil Kumar Moosad had a rather novel idea of selling what he loved, and making it more accessible for others. Taking a leaf out of how most business ventures begin marketing their products, he made a Facebook page of his ‘company’ and started marketing his products online. He went wrong on only two accounts. One, the product of his choice was weed. Second, he decided to sell it on Facebook!
So starting a local business page on Facebook called Bangalore Cannabis, Moosad started off his dream of becoming a millionaire. But even though we love it, weed is illegal in the country, and the worst place to sell something illegal is Facebook! Sadly for the guy, this was the easiest catch ever. Moosad, the nice guy he is, gave the cops his phone number and address thinking they were customers. Two lessons here – One, stoners cannot do business, they can only chill. Two, the next time you want to start a Flipkart for drugs, make sure it’s not on Facebook.
5. LEAST SUCCESSFUL CAMEO
When the news broke that Neil Nitin Mukesh might be making a cameo in the next season of Game of Thrones, the internet, for a very brief period of time, completely lost its marbles. The story, as told to everyone by NNN, was somewhat unreal. Two things were very hard to digest – One, Game of Thrones’ stunt director was doing the action sequences for Prem Ratan Dhan Payo. Wtf? Two, he loved NNN’s acting so much that he offered him a role!
AIB/ Facebook
HBO had to eventually release a statement saying the actor was never offered a role. Faith in humanity was restored.
6. LEAST SUCCESSFUL TITLE DEFENCE
Months after Chelsea, led by Jose Mourinho, won the English Premier League title, they found themselves languishing in the 16th position of the league, just 1 point off relegation, making for the worst title defence in the history of the Premier League. It had hilariously come down to the point where Jose’s post match interviews were more exciting to watch than Chelsea.
mirror.co.uk
From blaming the pitch, the medical staff, the referees, the players, even the ball boys of the away teams, Jose made sure he had someone to put the blame on. Despite having the full support of the fans, Chelsea finally let go of the ‘Special One’ after he went on an obnoxious rant against his players.
7. LEAST SUCCESSFUL CRICKETER
Only a few on this planet know how Rohit Sharma makes it to the Indian test team. Rohit Sharma made a staggering 79 runs in 13 innings. Rohit Sharma’s batting skills had a striking resemblance to a drunk Ajit Agarkar. Even a Premier Padmini would give a better average than Rohit Sharma did this year.
criclife.com
8. MOST UNSUCCESSFUL PHONE LAUNCH
Blackberry has a very niche audience. Only a select few loyalists prefer using, what once was an office-goer’s favourite handset. Seriously, so niche is its base that even Blackberry’s Twitter account uses an iPhone to post tweets on their new handsets. Tsk. Tsk.
businessinsider
9. LEAST SUCCESSFUL EVE-TEASING CHARGE
AAP activist Jasleen Kaur got her 30-seconds of fame when she accused Saravjeet Singh of passing obscene comments at her on a Facebook post which went viral. After a few days of man-bashing by the media and the public, it came to light that all this was fabricated by her. A witness named Vishwajeet Singh said that it was Jasleen who used abusive remarks and made obscene actions at Saravjeet, going to prove how easy it is for someone to mislead people using social media.
veritenews
Hi Jasleen, here, people are reading about you again. You must be proud of yourself.
10. LEAST SUCCESSFUL NEWS COVERAGE OF A DISASTER
Chennai floods were another reminder of what nature could do if we don’t take action now. It also reminded everyone of the power of people, and how social media can help in carrying out relief work. One news channel though, really stood out in their coverage of the disaster. Tamil Nadu faced its heaviest rains in over 100 years, claiming hundreds of lives. So to explain the gravity of the situation, one news channel decided to tell its viewers about the condition in Chennai, the only difference was that this reporter managed to do it wearing heels in front of a green screen. To make things worse, the show was titled ‘News Lelo News’. I can’t even…
dekhdekh
Little sensitivity maybe? No?
Post a Comment