- Robert: boss, China se Mr. Hu aayee hain.
- Ajit: Goli maar do. Hu mar jaane par humor ban ke sab ko hasaayenge.
- Scene: Ajeet thouroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling's typing.
- Ajeet: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
- Raabert: Magar kyoon baas ?
- Ajeet: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.
- Ajeet: Raabert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur debugger
- starrt kar do.
- Raabert: Lekin kyoon, baas?
- Ajeet: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.
- Ajeet: Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
- Raabert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakka maar raha hai.
- Ajeet: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
- Raabert: Yes Boss.
- Ajeet: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards, tumhari Maa hamare
- kabze mein hai .......
- Scene: Ajeet comes to know about the traitor in his gang.
- Ajeet: Raabert, ise ShamePain mein daal tho, agar Shame se nahi mara
- to Pain se mar jayega.
- Scene: Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed.
- Ajeet: Peter, time bomb le aao aur is saale ko usse bandh do. Timer ko
- teek das bajhe set kar do. Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez
- hamesha late karta hai. Iska mauth bhi late hona chahiye. Timer ko
- panch minute late rakh do. Arre, Raabert, Raabert, bevkoof, silly
- fellow, time bomb ko yahan peh math rakho, yeh to 'no-smoking' area
- hai. Ha haa ha. Time bomb 'tic tic tic tic' karke bajega. Aur iska
- dil 'tup tup tup' karke dhatakega. Tum agar paas me khade hoge
- to tumko 'tic tup tic tup tic tup' suanaai dega"
- Ajeet: Rabert! isko eraser se maar do, yeh mar bhi jayega aur mit
- bhi jayega
- Raabert: Boss! Aaap ko kaun si teen chiz sabse jahyahda pasand hein boss?
- Ajeet: Ek Mona, Doosra Sona, aur Tisra, Mona ke saath Sona
- Peter: Boss? Sona kahan hei?
- Ajeet: Tum chahe jahan bhi sona, lekin mujhe to Mona darling ke saath sona!
- Scene: Ajeet spots one of his is enemies...
- Ajeet: Maikal, woh jo admi ghadi pahne tumhe nazar aarahaa hai, woh hamara mehman hai.
- Tum ja kar uske doosre hath mein bhee gadhi pahna do...phir woh do
- ghadi ka mehman ho jayega !
- Scene: Ajeet is escaping with his men in a helicopter...
- Ajeet: Kuch hee der mein hamara helicopter hindustan ki sarhadon ke pare
- door birmingham mein hoga. Wahaan tumhe ek kaale rang ki sioorlett
- (cheverlett) nazar aayegi. Wo tumhe signal degee...on..off..on..off
- Raabert : Boss..hamara signal kya hoga ?
- Ajeet : bewkoof...off..on..off..on...
- Raabert: Boss? Is kaa kyaa kare boss?
- Ajeet: Rawbert! Is pille ko liquid oxygen me daal do. Liquid ise jeene
- nahi dega, aur oxygen ise marne nahi dega.
- Peter: Boss? aur is pille ka kyaa kare boss?
- Ajeet: Peter! Is saale ko super-conductor me daal do, saala bus mein
- ticket dete-dete thak jayega.
- Peter: Boss is saale ka kya karen ?
- Ajeet: Ise microprocessor mein daal do...BIT by BIT marega !
- Robert: aur boss..iska kya karen ?
- Ajeet:Ise hamlet poison khilado...sochta rahega, to be or not to be !
- Scene: Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy
- Ajeet: "Raabert, Ise varnish mein daal do, saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish
- bhi aa jaayegi.
- Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
- Ajeet: Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padegak.!
- Scene: Ajeet ordering his chela to kill the enemy
- Ajeet: "Raabert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal doo. Saale ko
- Society jeene nahin degea aur security isse marne nahin degea.
- Scene: Raabert and Ajeet are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs a hole
- and water starts coming inside. Raabert is perplexed !
- Raabert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
- Ajeet: Raabert Ek aur hole bana do , aur ek hole me IN aur doosre me out
- lik do . Ek hole se paani ander aayega aur doosre se bahar chale
- jayega !!
- Scene: Ajeet is worried about something. Robert is facing him.
- Ajeet: Shanker kaal bahuth bada maal Versova beach per aane wala hain.....
- A pause.....
- Tum chootti le lo.
- Scene: Raabert had twins and comes to the "Boss".....
- Raabert: Boss, mere dono bachon ke liye koi naam bataiye..
- Ajeet : Ek ka naam rakho Peter....
- Raabert: boss or doosre ka ?
- Ajeet: Repeater.
- Scene: Raabert had triplet and comes to the "Boss".....
- Raabert: Boss, mera teen bachche ka keya naam shoche hein aap?
- Ajeet: Ek Naam rakhkho, Peter, Repeater aur Wang Chung.
- Raabert: Teesra ka naam "Wang Chung" kiu boss???!!!
- Ajeet: Beokuf, tumhe malum nehi...is prithwi me paida hone waalaa har
- teesra bachcha Chinese hota hai.
- Ajeet: Raabert, is bail kaa stool test karo.
- Raabert: Stool, boss ?
- Ajeet: Aakhir pataa chale ki ye bullshit kya cheez hai.
- Scene: Ajeet get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.
- Ajeet: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath mein hara
- rang laga do.
- Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
- Ajeet: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi to ise
- range haathon pakad legi. he he he....
- Scene: Raabert and Ajeet go for shikar...Raabert spots a peacock...
- Raabert: Boss....more.. more...
- Ajeet picks up the peacock, shoots it and says...
- Ajeet : Nomore !
- Robert: Bass is gaddar ka kya karen ?
- Ajeet : ise sui chubho chubho kar mar daalo... pulees samjhegi sui-cide
- hua hai.
- Peter: bass yeh aadmi to kuchh boal hee nahin rahaa...
- Ajeet: Ise revolving chair pe bitha do, pataa to lage chakkar kya hai.
- Ajeet: Mona, tum Toni se shaadi mat karnaa, bahut mona-toni ho jaegi.
- Ajeet: Raabert, dayna (Diana) ko kuch khatta pila do.
- Robert: kyu boss ?
- Ajeet: Bewkoof, woh dayna se daynasour ho jayegi, phir extinct kar dena.
- AJIT: "Mona daarrling, tum nahane jao. Michael tum bhi saath
- jao. Aur mere King Cobra ko lekar uske daanth ki safai bhi kar
- do."
- "Mona daaling, tum Tony ke saath math jao. Agar jaogi to tum,
- MonaTony ho jaogi. Lisa ke saath jao aur MonaLisa ban jao. Lisa
- daaarrling. Come here baby. Abhey Micheal, idhar aa jao. In
- babiyon ko lekar apne estate bungalow pahuncho."
- AJIT: "Raabert, isko Great Wall of China le jaakar phansi mein laga do,
- great 'wall hanging' ban jayegi"
- AJIT: "Is ex-Miss India ko Middle East lekar maar daalo. Marne
- ke baath bhi will not rest in peace. Nahin to Hemendra Godbole
- ka crossword puzzle ka anagram clue de do, uska 'real fun' se
- 'funeral' ho jayega."
- AJIT: "Shut up Raabert, main sub jhanta hoon. Magar I wanted to
- get it straight out of the horse's mouth. Ha ha haa. Yeh dekho
- --- 'dishooom' 'disshhooom' --- bechara Billoo mar gaya.
- Raabert, Yeh hai the actual horse's 'mauth'."
- AJIT: "Magar Raaaabert, mard aur mouse mein ek pharak hai"
- RAABERT: "Woh kyaa hai baaaasss ?"
- AJIT: "Kuch mardon ko 'Mousiji' hoti hai, magar mouse ko
- kabhi 'mardji' nahin hoti."
- Robert iss kuttay ko microprocessor may daal do !
- Bit by bit mur jaaya gaa saala!
- Robert iss harami ko liquid oxygen may daal do !
- Liquid issay jeenay nahi day gaa, oxygen issay marnay nahi day gaa!
- Robert, Dayna (Diana) ko thoda khatta khila do, yeh
- dayna se daynasour bhi ho jayegi, phir extinct bhi...
- Robert, isey thodi shampane pila do, paheley shame sey,
- phir pane sey mar jayegaa...
- Robert, isey peekak paisan pila do, yeh more sey
- no-more ho jayegaa...
- Mona daarrling, tum Toni ke saath ghuumna band kar do,
- nahin to bahut MonaToni ho jayegee...
- "Robert, Harshad Mehta the Bull ka stool test karaao"
- "Kyon boss?"
- "Pata to chale akhir ye Bullshit kya hota hai"
- Ajit: Maikal, ise liquid helium mein daal ke 440 V pass kar do.
- Phir yeh superconductor ban jaayega, aur zindagi bhar ticket
- kaat-ta reh jaayega.
- Maikal: Baaas, yeh aadmi to kuch bol hi nahin raha hai. Kya karen ?
- Ajit: Ise revaalving chair mein daal do.
- Pata chal jaayega chakkar kya hai.
- Robert: Boss , Sona kahan hai ? ( Where is the Gold ? )
- Ajit: Kahin par bhi so jao Robert !!
- (Scene - Robert gets a sidey to Ajit.)
- Robert: Boss, humne sidey ko pakad liya
- Ajit: Ise maar ke pulees station ke saamne rakh do.
- Aur iske badan par ek sui chubha do.
- Robert: Par sui kyon, baass!
- Ajit: Bewakoof! Pulees yeh samjhegi ki sui-cide hua hai!
- Robert: Boss, mere teen bacche hue. Unko kya naam doon?
- Ajit: Ek ka naam rakhna Peter, doosre ka Maikal,
- aur teesre ka Cha Ling Chu.
- Robert: Par Cha Ling Chu kyoon?
- Ajit: Bewakoof, duniya ka har teesra bacchaa Chinese hota hai!
- (Scene - Ajit thoroughly disgusted with Mona daaa..arrling's typing.)
- Ajit: Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.
- Robert: Magar kyoon baas ?
- Ajit: Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.
- Ajit: Robert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur
- debugger istarrt kar do.
- Robert: Lekin kyoon, baas?
- Ajit: Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.
- Ajit: Robert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?
- Robert: Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakke maar raha hai.
- Ajit: Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega.
- Lunch break mein usse phone milana.
- Robert: Yes Boss.
- Ajit: (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards,
- tumhari Maa hamare kabze mein hai .......
- (Scene - Giving a decision as to how the hero should be killed.)
- Ajit: Peter, time bomb le aao aur is kutte ko usse bandh do.
- Timer ko theek das baje set kar do.
- Nahin nahin, yeh saala to sub cheez hamesha late karta hai.
- Iski maut bhi late honi chahiye. Timer ko panch minute late rakh do.
- Arre, Robert, Raabert, bevkoof, silly fellow, time bomb ko yahan peh
- mat rakho, yeh to 'no-smoking' area hai. Ha haa ha.
- Time bomb 'tic tic tic tic' karke bajega.
- Aur iska dil 'tup tup tup' karke dhadkega.
- Tum agar paas me khade hoge to tumko 'tic tup tic tup tic tup'
- suanaai dega ..."
- (Scene - Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
- Ajit: "Robert, Ise varnish mein daal do,
- saala mar bhi jaayega aur finish bhi ho jaayega.
- Bob: Boss, mission par kaise jaaoon, mujhe headek ho raha hai.
- Ajit: Abe head ek ho ya do, kaam to karna hi padegak.!
- (Scene - Ajit ordering his chela to kill the enemy.)
- Ajit: "Robert, Isss Haramzaade ko social security pe daal do.
- Saale ko Society jeene nahin degi aur security marne nahin degi.
- (Scene - Robert and Ajit are in a boat. The boat suddenly springs
- a hole and water starts coming inside. Robert is perplexed !)
- Robert: Boss ab kya hoga ??
- Ajit: Robert Ek aur hole bana do, aur ek hole me IN
- aur doosre me OUT likh do. Ek hole se paani ander aayega
- aur doosre se bahar chala jayega !!
- (Scene - Ajit get's hold of his favourite hero & then directs his chela.)
- Ajit: Maikal, Is saale ke ek haath mein laal aur doosre haath
- mein hara rang laga do.
- Maikal: Lekin kyon baas?
- Ajit: Bewakoof, itnaa bhi nahin jaanta? Jab pulice yehaan aayegi
- to ise range haathon pakad legi. he he he....
- Here is another contribution:
- Scene: Ajit is leering at a girl who happens to be
- the sister of one of the extras.
- Extra: ``Saab bechaari goongi hai.''
- Ajit: ``are hum kahaaN usse ramayan padhvaane jaa rahe haiN.''
Post a Comment