Photo via: Joel Sossa
Aaron,
When I met you I didn't even think twice about you. You were just another guy from work. In fact, now that I think about it, the first time I met you I found you a bit stiff and harsh and rugged. Almost like you were something out of an action thriller or in the military or something. You were so fucking serious.
I worked on two episodes with you. I was the filmer and you were one of the reporters. I didn't see you as anything more than the guy from the News department.
Then one night, at one of the parties, you kissed my friend on the cheek. A moment later, you leaned in to kiss me too, except you totally went for my lips. I pushed you off me and went back inside. I laughed it off as a joke. You were super drunk.
Then I saw you walking on the street a few days later, we smiled at each other and nodded. That was that.
A few weeks later, at the next party, we talked some more and you were totally into me. You were way into me than I was into you, and it made me feel so special. We made out for a while that night, and then you invited me to your frat's date-night thing as your date. You put your number into my phone. You texted me the next day.
The next night I slept over. Maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe I should have waited or something... been harder to get.
But you were so into me and that made me so into you.
Your face was so beautiful. I started to fall for your seriousness....I started to understand that it was a layer to hide everything you've been through.
You know, I'd never actually fallen asleep and woken up next to a guy, you were the first person I ever did that with and it was so special to me.
I got so hooked onto you.
Even though we'd mostly just sleep together and then watch Game of Thrones, which I didn't even like but I liked watching it with you.
You were so warm. I loved the way you held me.
But then that's all it became. You never came out and hung out with my friends and I, anytime I invited you. We basically became fuck buddies. But you always made it seem like I was special to you. It was so confusing.
When I met you after winter break, I remember you walked in the door and literally said two words before kissing me and wanting to get in bed. It felt so weird because I had all these things I wanted to tell you but you just wanted to fuck.
I hated that night. After we had sex I asked you where we were going, and you said you weren't looking for anything more than what we already had. You basically told me that if I wanted to date you or see you in daylight, that was going to be a problem.
I didn't sleep that night at all.
I stayed up and thought about everything. I was so upset and heartbroken because I realized that I was hooked onto you, and you weren't.
I'd let you in and you hadn't.
Two days later you asked me to come over for a party, and I told you that I couldn't see you anymore if all I was going to be was your fuck buddy.
You made it look so easy. You made it seem like that wasn't an issue at all.
I spent that week in bed, crying.
I hate it because you make it seem like we were nothing but to me we were.
Maybe I'm stupid and naive for all this, but I really liked you. I loved watching you wake up in the morning. I love staring into your eyes, I miss it so much.
Over the next few months I showed up at your frat a bunch of times when I was drunk and lonely and thinking of you.
You were such a dick about the whole thing. And I seemed like such a creepy stalker type person. It's the most embarrassing thing I've done in my life.
I tried to get over you with another guy who treated me really well. But it didn't last long.
Since the last three months, every time I walk around these streets I look for you.
I hope I'd secretly bump into you. I hope you'd be into me again like you were in the beginning.
It's so pathetic. I hate how much I miss you, for how little time we actually spent together. I take the long way home every night so I can pass your place. It's so fucking pathetic.
I wish you'd have fought for me.
Or at least, that first night when we made out and I started crying because I thought you were so nice to me (like nicer than any guy had been in SO long), I wish you wouldn't have lied and told me you were different. That you would never hurt me.
I wish you'd have been honest and told me all you wanted was to get into my pants.
Cause I got hooked onto you. I got addicted to your smell and fell in love with your eyes and felt so warm in your arms.
And for you, I was just another number on the list of women you've slept with.
When I met you I didn't even think twice about you. You were just another guy from work. In fact, now that I think about it, the first time I met you I found you a bit stiff and harsh and rugged. Almost like you were something out of an action thriller or in the military or something. You were so fucking serious.
I worked on two episodes with you. I was the filmer and you were one of the reporters. I didn't see you as anything more than the guy from the News department.
Then one night, at one of the parties, you kissed my friend on the cheek. A moment later, you leaned in to kiss me too, except you totally went for my lips. I pushed you off me and went back inside. I laughed it off as a joke. You were super drunk.
Then I saw you walking on the street a few days later, we smiled at each other and nodded. That was that.
A few weeks later, at the next party, we talked some more and you were totally into me. You were way into me than I was into you, and it made me feel so special. We made out for a while that night, and then you invited me to your frat's date-night thing as your date. You put your number into my phone. You texted me the next day.
The next night I slept over. Maybe I shouldn't have. Maybe I should have waited or something... been harder to get.
But you were so into me and that made me so into you.
Your face was so beautiful. I started to fall for your seriousness....I started to understand that it was a layer to hide everything you've been through.
You know, I'd never actually fallen asleep and woken up next to a guy, you were the first person I ever did that with and it was so special to me.
I got so hooked onto you.
Even though we'd mostly just sleep together and then watch Game of Thrones, which I didn't even like but I liked watching it with you.
You were so warm. I loved the way you held me.
But then that's all it became. You never came out and hung out with my friends and I, anytime I invited you. We basically became fuck buddies. But you always made it seem like I was special to you. It was so confusing.
When I met you after winter break, I remember you walked in the door and literally said two words before kissing me and wanting to get in bed. It felt so weird because I had all these things I wanted to tell you but you just wanted to fuck.
I hated that night. After we had sex I asked you where we were going, and you said you weren't looking for anything more than what we already had. You basically told me that if I wanted to date you or see you in daylight, that was going to be a problem.
I didn't sleep that night at all.
I stayed up and thought about everything. I was so upset and heartbroken because I realized that I was hooked onto you, and you weren't.
I'd let you in and you hadn't.
Two days later you asked me to come over for a party, and I told you that I couldn't see you anymore if all I was going to be was your fuck buddy.
You made it look so easy. You made it seem like that wasn't an issue at all.
I spent that week in bed, crying.
I hate it because you make it seem like we were nothing but to me we were.
Maybe I'm stupid and naive for all this, but I really liked you. I loved watching you wake up in the morning. I love staring into your eyes, I miss it so much.
Over the next few months I showed up at your frat a bunch of times when I was drunk and lonely and thinking of you.
You were such a dick about the whole thing. And I seemed like such a creepy stalker type person. It's the most embarrassing thing I've done in my life.
I tried to get over you with another guy who treated me really well. But it didn't last long.
Since the last three months, every time I walk around these streets I look for you.
I hope I'd secretly bump into you. I hope you'd be into me again like you were in the beginning.
It's so pathetic. I hate how much I miss you, for how little time we actually spent together. I take the long way home every night so I can pass your place. It's so fucking pathetic.
I wish you'd have fought for me.
Or at least, that first night when we made out and I started crying because I thought you were so nice to me (like nicer than any guy had been in SO long), I wish you wouldn't have lied and told me you were different. That you would never hurt me.
I wish you'd have been honest and told me all you wanted was to get into my pants.
Cause I got hooked onto you. I got addicted to your smell and fell in love with your eyes and felt so warm in your arms.
And for you, I was just another number on the list of women you've slept with.
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